This wasn’t a scheduled post, but I wanted to address the reality of returning to school, for the adults, after such a long period of absence (otherwise known as the Summer Holidays)

For me, the Summer Holidays are always fraught with anxiety and having too much time to sit and ponder EVERYTHING, and I mean everything. For some time now, I’ve quietly battled with mental health issues that mean prolonged periods of rest and self-reflection are difficult for me, resulting in the Summer Holidays not being something I look forward to.

Whilst I crave the opportunity to recuperate and spend some well-deserved time with my family, I find six weeks to be overkill – especially when everyone else appears to work the good old 9-5. And I know I’m not the only one out there who feels this way, I can’t be.

I thought it apt to talk about the reality of maintaining positive mental balance during the difficult transition of returning to school after 1008 hours. Speaking in hours seemed the most appropriate given that our day is structured (for the majority of us) in hour segments and therefore the reality of returning to a demanding but beautiful profession after such a lengthy break can and will be daunting for many of us.

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Today marked the first INSET day for staff in preparation for the return of our students. Yet, I noticed the weight of our conversation hung heavily in the arena of children. Now I’m not saying that this should not be the case, because we are in fact educators of children, but it struck me as odd that we often neglect the importance of OUR transition back to a definitive structure and expectations when talking about those first crucial weeks. This is a trend I have recognised in pretty much every school I have had the privilege of being in. So why does this seem to be a trend in education?

This avoidance of recognition that we too struggle through the process of returning to school is something I found baffling once I really thought about it. I don’t necessarily even mean this on a leadership level, but as individuals and as colleagues. We often ask, ‘how was your summer?’ without much consideration of the impact this question might have on those of us who struggle with time away. There is no malice behind the question as such, but perhaps we unwittingly breed a need for forced optimism… how many times has a colleague responded with ‘Honestly? A bit sh*t.’ I’m going to go ahead and say not many.

Please don’t think that I am up here, loving life on my high horse, having never asked this question myself, because honestly, I’m not. I have asked this question, expecting a positive response. The socially acceptable small talk, it’s that thing you’re supposed to ask right?

But, with that in mind, I do have to apologise to my colleagues because this year I have deliberately made the effort to not ask about people’s Summer Holiday, which may come across as rude or ignorant, but instead I have swapped it with a different kind of question. Today I have asked colleagues, ‘how do you feel about coming back?’ in hope that I am showing a willingness to support those who may also be feeling anxious or tentative. To those colleagues who asked me ‘how was your summer?’ today, I am also sorry because I lied. I will have said something generic and maybe added in a little anecdote about my stepdaughter but in reality, all I wanted to say was ‘honestly? I struggled. I struggled hard. Some days my biggest achievement was crying at fictional characters dying on Netflix. But yeah, I’m back and in one piece, so we can call it a successful break.’

I can’t sit here, having immediately changed into my PJs after returning from school and having made myself a spam butty (yes, that’s right I’m gross, I know) whilst quietly allowing the day’s information to sink in and pretend that I now have a magical answer to fix this. But hopefully this post will make you think just that little more carefully about those colleagues who view 1008 hours as an impassable gulf; why not ask about how they feel returning to school or open honest, judgement-free platforms for everyone to discuss where they are now and where they want to be in two weeks’ time (when the dust settles)? Why not change the conversation?

And, if you are one of the 1008 hours colleagues: hi – me too.